Totes OTM

Hi Darlin', totally Brooklyn Hipster this morning! Ja, sooo fashion fatigued after the shows! Sporting bed hair and my Mom Jeans, Darling, will probs be the last time you'll see me in them. Ja, the Mom's have gone totally mainstream now. Jeez, what silhouette are we going to do next, Darling? Loving my Good Morning Bang sweater, though! Totes OTM! What? Primark? Ja, really funny, Darling! I'm off, my Petite-Malle needs a pat! Tootles!



When I met Garance...

...dressed head to toe in LaLa Berlin.

You look sooo beautiful, Artful!
Thanks Garance, totally into the Glam Gaucho right now!
Snap. Snap. Snap. Snap. Snap.
Where's Scott, Garance?
Shooting somekind of AOL thing, getting into the art of bullfighting or dining with the suit chaps.
Snap. Snap. Snap. Snap. Snap.
Sounds super rad, Garance!
Yeah, I know! Thanks for the pose and snap, Artful, gotta go to the hairsalon pour le chop now!
  See you soon, Garance! Oh, isn't that Dvora from fashionistable over there? Dvooooraaaaaa...



Pardon my Me: This is Trending

Who: Me

Where: Me in Street

When: Me after some awfully important meeting

For: Me for Insouciance

Wearing: Team Whatever Sweat, Proenza Schouler PS11, Millefleur Origami Skirt (own label !!!!!), Valentino Rock Stud Pumps (couldn't decide between: Zara Pony Skin Slip Ons, Super Snow White Wedge Pumps, Céline furry slippers, Nike Free Run or Chanel Espadrilles) Due to lack of sun the Ray Ban Clubmaster is tucked away in my PS11!

Bonjour Dahling! So sorry, couldn't take your call, had a super important meeting. Yes, I had to actually work again! Oh, you know, a Streetstyle feature for Insouciance. Yeeees, I know, same content everywhere! Got to do it though, everyone's still doing it! So excited, Dahling! Off to Art Basel to meet dear Banksy for a drink and laugh. Of course we will meet, once I recognize him! Then I'm off to Tom Ford's Ranch for some Yihaaa and a riding lesson, after that it's some sort of sponsored break in Bali and then back to St. Trop! Get the Pinky chilled, Dahling! Oh, one thing, could you please get two of those Daft Punk helmets for cruising around in? Will make a nice change from the flowery Wang in my Citroën Méhari! That'll be so super fun! And get one for David as well, will you, he's not too good in the sun! Tootles! Muah muah!

538302 Artful comments:          (any similarities with existing comments are not coincidental and fully intended)

Ugly but fun said:
I'm in love! I'm so in love with not being in love with you!

Rich Fashion Bitch said:
The fit of the dress is beautiful on you, absolute perfection!

yadayadagaga said:
STUNING! You Are a STAR! everything you wear is simple, elegant,chic, extraordinary beautiful! The make-up is Perfect! and the looks are always the best for the ocasions. I admire you’re simplicity and Chic style! Blessings in all you’re goals!!!

Lovebeingshallow said:
woooow that skirt is the skirt, simple but fabulous at the same time

Anonymous said:
please continue doing exercises for your body 

Hair, Camera, Fags and Vintage said:
so nice, really! how do you do it?

Anonymous said: 
at the frist time in the year 2009 2010 I love your blog so much, it was full of love, i like the lucky girl, your blog has a lot of personaltiy it was the best blog. But now, your blog is very unpersonalitiy and only marketing and nothing is interessting in this. Every day more than 100 Photos von Instagram! I am the best and nicest girl in the world!!! I think you are only a boring marektingmaschine!

outfitposts ate my loan said: 
They say don’t envy. But man, am I envious of your life.

stupid with fringe said:
Who needs a summer wardrobe these days when you can wear pre-fall all year round!

they call me G at the studio said:
C’est génial!

                     @ they call me G at the studio:
                      thanks G! They call me A at the studio!!!!!! XXXXX 



Gooping with Gwyneth

Ok, I have to admit, I love Gwynnie, and as fate would have it, for an Insouciance feature I hooked up with the Goop Goddess at her house in London, you know the one with the mega huge kitchen, where Gwynnie serves up these impromptu make it look easy Michelin 3 star José Andres Mario Batali worthy amuse-bouches in her Creusets dressed in a casual marinière. Cannot deny the fact that the other part of me wanted to catch a glimpse of that famous rockstar husband! And I wanted to find out if life was really that macrobiotic, or whatever she was onto right now!  
Alright then, where was I? I had a fun day gooping around with Gwynnie passing along her mantra to me. So what did we Make, Go, Get, Do, Be, and See?  We made, do, we did, be, we were.... oh gosh, I got so muddled...

- What are we going to do Gwyneth?
- Nourish your inner self!
- Ok, I like that, I want to be like you Gwynnie, maybe then I can meet your famous popstar husband. Ok, let's do Do? Do shopping perhaps? Pffff, that's easy! Off to Céline, what do you think, Gwynnie? 
- No, we are going to Make, Go, Get, Do, Be, aaaaaand...iiiiit's.......MAKE Artful! MAKE! Origami Sushi!
- You mean like paper Nigiri and Nori rolls, Gwynnie?
- Exactly, Artful, I've got some square papers left from our last make your own sushi dinner. 0 calories, very healthy and soul cleansing!
- Ok, but what will we drink with the sushi? I do like my Rosé. Shall we open the booze I brought?
- Very kind Artful, but we have to drink Sake with the Sushi! Origami Sake that is!
- Origami Sake, my word, you do take things serious! 

The sushi turned out looking really tasty, but boy, I was seriously feeling undernourished by now, so I took to my Rosé inbetween the Origami Sake, whilst hearing a Michel Roux Jr. Masterchef verdict somewhere inside my head: "The presentation is soo stunning, but the taste is fe-rocious!"

After we had my hair done up into a DIY Japanese like bun, I was treated to a trendy Kimono. Mrs. Paltrow was transforming me into a GOOP Geisha! The Kimono was a budget version made of Mulberry silk for 15000$. What a catch! I like that, Gwynnie! I mean what is this? Were we seperated at birth or what?

- What now, Gwyneth?
- Be - Artful, Beeeee!!!!!!!
- Be - what, Gwyneth?
- Be - really tipsy, Artful!!! And because it's Saturday, we'll treat ourselves to a ciggie!
- That's easy, Gwynnie, I can do that! 

Now it was time to pass on my Mantra to Mr and Mrs Martin!

- Will you adopt me, Gwynnie? Please? 


Fashion Blogging Is...

  • posing and pouting in front of a mirror with an iphone until upgrading to an EOS 5D Mark III
  • almost being run over in the middle of the street whilst being photographed by embarrassed/jealous proud boyfriend/girlfriend
  • running around looking like a circus freak mismatched canary super editorial at fashion week hoping to get noticed and snapped by a hord of vultures streetstyle photographers
  • like high school revisited or The Breakfast Club, including the Heathers (updated with Céline bags), the Articulate Witty Ones (who actually have a real job and are able to afford and show off their own stuff), the Ugly Kid (still ugly but thinks she looks interesting with a ridiculous hair-do and oversized Grandma clothes aka Berlin style) and the Average Jo's (all fillers no killers)
  •  when all the males around you look better in skinny jeans than you do
  •  watching endless youtube How To's about make up and end up applying slap, lipstick and smokey eyes worse than Turbonegro 
  •  instagramming absolutely every freakin' aspect of your boring fashionable life
  • addiction to social media; observing social media patterns e.g. the follow and unfollow Twitter twits (the ones with more followers than following) who con everyone into thinking they are super celeb or popular but really don't care. Larry David would most definitely start an argument about "the unwritten rules of society".
  • getting paranoid about statistics
  • feeling dizzy scrolling down Susie Bubble's blog posts
  • having an inferiority complex standing next to "real" editors, or Susie Bubble
  • when your best friends are Chloé, Céline and Zara
  • wearing high heels all day even if you can't walk in them, because Garance does so
  • dreaming about becoming the next It-Style-Consultant in Garance Dore's All Star Girly Posse
  • when Emanuelle Alt is your religion
  • stalking your favourite blogger outifts on the Internet and comparing yourself
  • having 943 online fashion store newsletter subscriptions that tempt you into buying even more clobber
  • going totally bonkers over Christmas the SALES
  • opening that top knot at night to release strain from the roots
  • jealousy, envy, happiness, fun, addiction, success, totes amaze
  • receiving an OBS (Officially Been Snapped) by his majesty The Sartorialist
  • hoping for Céline bag free garb and sponsorship
  • buying the Porsche Boxter of bags Céline Trio when actually you'd kill to own the Boston or Trapeze!
  • receiving free designer garb but realising that in the end Elin Kling and The Blonde Salad always look better in the same stuff
  • earning that 6 digit sum end of month Céline bag Very-Berry-Extra-Super-Grande-Latte with ads from your site  
  • when you're the peacock and not the crow, right Suzy Menkes?

You may now guess the blogger!

Feel free to add more!