Fashion Blogging Is...

  • posing and pouting in front of a mirror with an iphone until upgrading to an EOS 5D Mark III
  • almost being run over in the middle of the street whilst being photographed by embarrassed/jealous proud boyfriend/girlfriend
  • running around looking like a circus freak mismatched canary super editorial at fashion week hoping to get noticed and snapped by a hord of vultures streetstyle photographers
  • like high school revisited or The Breakfast Club, including the Heathers (updated with Céline bags), the Articulate Witty Ones (who actually have a real job and are able to afford and show off their own stuff), the Ugly Kid (still ugly but thinks she looks interesting with a ridiculous hair-do and oversized Grandma clothes aka Berlin style) and the Average Jo's (all fillers no killers)
  •  when all the males around you look better in skinny jeans than you do
  •  watching endless youtube How To's about make up and end up applying slap, lipstick and smokey eyes worse than Turbonegro 
  •  instagramming absolutely every freakin' aspect of your boring fashionable life
  • addiction to social media; observing social media patterns e.g. the follow and unfollow Twitter twits (the ones with more followers than following) who con everyone into thinking they are super celeb or popular but really don't care. Larry David would most definitely start an argument about "the unwritten rules of society".
  • getting paranoid about statistics
  • feeling dizzy scrolling down Susie Bubble's blog posts
  • having an inferiority complex standing next to "real" editors, or Susie Bubble
  • when your best friends are Chloé, Céline and Zara
  • wearing high heels all day even if you can't walk in them, because Garance does so
  • dreaming about becoming the next It-Style-Consultant in Garance Dore's All Star Girly Posse
  • when Emanuelle Alt is your religion
  • stalking your favourite blogger outifts on the Internet and comparing yourself
  • having 943 online fashion store newsletter subscriptions that tempt you into buying even more clobber
  • going totally bonkers over Christmas the SALES
  • opening that top knot at night to release strain from the roots
  • jealousy, envy, happiness, fun, addiction, success, totes amaze
  • receiving an OBS (Officially Been Snapped) by his majesty The Sartorialist
  • hoping for Céline bag free garb and sponsorship
  • buying the Porsche Boxter of bags Céline Trio when actually you'd kill to own the Boston or Trapeze!
  • receiving free designer garb but realising that in the end Elin Kling and The Blonde Salad always look better in the same stuff
  • earning that 6 digit sum end of month Céline bag Very-Berry-Extra-Super-Grande-Latte with ads from your site  
  • when you're the peacock and not the crow, right Suzy Menkes?

You may now guess the blogger!

Feel free to add more!

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous18.2.13

    I'd like to add the vintage-tshirts-of-bands-I -don't-listen-to wearer! Hilarious thank you!